The other day when I was taking a stroll at my local store, I passed a small dog being walked by his owner along the path. The dog was walking directly beside his owner, who was also walking in the same direction and at the same time, not really paying attention to the dog. As he approached me, and I started to turn my head to see where the dog was, all I saw was this adorable smile and how the dog was enjoying every moment of his short walk with his owner. I couldn't help but give a little smile back. While I had my eyes on the dog, I also had my eyes on the owner. And as I did this, I heard a familiar rustling coming from the bushes just behind me. I turned around quickly and saw a soft paw come into view. And to my shock and delight, it was the same soft paw that I Remember the dog liked to carry. I started to bend down and when I did, the dog - who had never reacted in such a way - came up to me and put his head in my lap.
My heart dropped and was jumping in my throat. I felt like I had just been thinker and a million times for all of the wrong that I had done in my past. I heard myself say, "Maybe, just maybe, I am just not meant to be the caregiver for this dog." But the million(illionth) times thing hit me, and like a co-wife who has a baby out of the equation, I felt like I had done the best I could. I repeated myself to myself, and repeated the thought to my spouse, and still did not feel totally secure in my mind. I then repeated the thought to my dog. "Maybe, just maybe, I am just not meant to be the caregiver for this dog. Do you know, though, what the long and short of this is? The dog is meant to be loved. And I love, but I don't love in the same, comforting way that you do."
I don't recall the moment when I thought about my ability to love and was unable to love. I do remember, however, the moment when I looked in the eyes and knew that I could no longer love the person who had hurt me. I remember thinking about all the times that I have loved and cared for animals, but now, I no longer have the need to do so.
The soft paw that was always there for me, in my mind, now had a special place in my heart.
I posted the image of the hurt dog on my blog with the title "Thoughts About My Dog." I received so many comments and kind words that helped me put the whole piece together. I was flooded with emails, both from dog lovers and from people who were going to buy their dogs and hate me for what I had done. I was encouraged to go on with my " Lives with Great Dogs " series of articles. I never-ever underestimated the response I would receive, and I have found that the support from dog lovers around the world has been invaluable.
I have learned so much about dog care and training through my life companions, and those who I thought I knew the best.
I love Minnie. I know that I could never replace her in my life. Both of my dogs are healthy and doing fantastic. They are really helping me deal with my parent's downsizing plan. Minnie is staying with us, but she is no longer necessary. I'm excited about the future and thankful for the time we had. I know that I will absolutely never do it again. Thank you for reading, and remember, if you don't yet, the next time you see a dog, look into the eyes of that dog and you'll know why I did. I look for Basset Hound masks, Mastiff mugs, and collars with pictures of the Grand families that still use these beautiful creatures.
Until next time...
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Dog